I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson
where your opinions are noted, and then summarily ignored


Waging a vocal one-man battle against absurdity since 1995...

Like everyone else, I have opinions about certain things. These are them. Or are they those? Anyway, before you start reading, there's some things you should know.

Warning: My opinions have been known to anger certain people or even groups of people. These opinions are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views held by my friends, family members, employer, or co-workers. I can almost guaran-damn-tee you that many of them aren't PC. If I say something that upsets you, well, that's life. If it makes you stop and think, then it's working.

Further, I am not inviting responses to the items listed on this page. Like everyone else on the planet, I'm not even remotely interested in your opinion of my opinions. You may, however, talk aimlessly amongst yourselves.

This part of my web page is sponsored by Grow-A-Fuckin-Funnybone, Inc. No animals were harmed in the making of this web page. Batteries not included. For adults 18 and older. Could cause projectile vomitting, chronic diahrea, cotton mouth, bleeding from the eyes, anal pore dilation, mild to severe skin irritation, respiratory distress, sudden and complete heart failure, or death. Warnings from mom include "I thought I told you not to cross the street", "Don't run with scissors", "If I have to come up there...", and of course, the real biggie - "But you're *not* everyone else."

08/01/2013:  Note to self...

Now that the federally-backed (and media endorsed) attempt to railroad George Zimmerman is over, it's time to pause for reflection. Facts that weren't allowed in the trial centered around Trayvon Martin's drug use, propensity for (and history of) violence, the fact that Arizon Iced Tea and Skittles are two of three components of a street drug referred to as "Lean", and finally, that TM's liver showed traces of prior "lean" use. Even though none of this was "admissable", they still found Zimmerman innocent. Why? Because Zimmerman, whether by sheer luck or by concious thought, did it right.

So now everyone sits and wonders what "we" can learn from this "Trayvon Martin's tragic death". The lesson I've learned is to stand well off and be ready to draw your firearm at all times, irregardless of how "normal" you might think the person with whom you're interacting might be. For thugs and wanna-be gangstas like Trayvon Martin, the lesson should be, "Don't take Skittles to a gunfight."

02/29/2012:  Irony

The Department of Agriculture just announced that it's pleased to be distributing the greatest number of food stamps in the history of the program. Meanwhile, the Parks Service (also part of the Deptartment of Agriculture) asks us to "Please Do Not Feed The Animals", because the animals may grow dependent on us for food and not learn how to take care of themselves...

02/19/2012:  It Just Feels Good

There's something very satisfying associated with handling a freshly cleaned and oiled firearm. You get a chance to reacquaint yourself with the tight tolerances of machined steel, along with the faint odor of gun oil. When you're satisfied with the function of the empty pistol, slide a magazine home, charge the weapon, and then click on the safety, you rest more comfortably knowing that your home is once again a safer place to be because the weapon will function appropriately when called upon to do so. It's almost a shame to put it back in the gun safe.

02/19/2012:  Honor

I was perusing a gun forum today, and found the following. It was posted by someone in North Carolina.

Went to see a local gunsmith today. He was talking to an elderly gentleman and his grandson about a Japaneses pistol that the man had brought home from WWII. The older man was wanting the pistol fixed so he could shoot it once more. Problem was that someone had worked on it 30+ years ago and had left a few parts out and damaged others. The gunsmith said that he could make most of the missing parts and that he could find the rest.

Then, the grandson asked, "What's this going to cost?"

The gunsmith looked up at the older man and said, "This gentleman payed for this 70 years ago."

There wasn't a dry eye in the building.

I'm rarely surprised by someone's actions, but this is one of those times when I am. It's sad when someone showing respect and honoring the memory of those who gave their lives for what we have today is the exception rather than the rule? I don't know what gun shop this happened at, but I'm going to try to find out, and advocate anyone that's close enough to go to the store and buy something.

02/19/2012:  It Worked Once Before

It seems the government has a real hitch in its get-along to start a shootin' war with Iran. They claim that Iran is trying to build a nuclear weapon and they must be stopped before this actually comes about. If we could trust the government to tell us the truth, I could almost agree with them, but after the lies we were told that "justified" the Iraq war, I'm not so sure Iran isn't telling the truth about its nuclear research being intended for the production of energy. On the other hand, if (and this is a BIG "if") the mainstream media is to be believed, Iran's president is a complete ass-clown, and his anti-Israeli rhetoric doesn't do anything to bolster his claim that their nuclear research is everything he said it is. Was it this hard to determine if Hitler really was a madman back in the '30's?

02/19/2012:  No More Guns

The Mexican government crushed up 7500 guns, and made a three-ton sign out of the debris that reads "No More Guns", and erected that sign at the U.S./Mexican border. The absurdity of this is almost beyond comprehension, since most of the guns they get are from SOUTH AMERICAN. maybe we should crush 7500 illegals, and build and erect a sign that faces the U.S./Mexican border that reads "No more illegal immigrants". Granted, it won't be as heavy, but it will smell like tacos.

02/18/2012:  Another Constitutional Casualty - the 1st Amendment

The Department of Homeland Absurdity Security has seen fit to begin monitoring social networking sights (and the internet in general) for signs of dissent regarding its actions. This is a complete waste of money because generally speaking, NOBODY is happy with the DHS's unconstitutional mandates and actions, much less that they exist in the first place. There's absolutely NO NEED for them to pay a contractor for these kinds of services. It doesn't end there, either, FEMA has jumped on the wagon for the very same purpose. Why the FUCK does FEMA care about my opinion of what they do, unless their actual purpose is in fact what Jesse Ventura claimed it was - to serve as a system of detention camps when the government declares martial law.

You may be wondering how this infringes on our 1st Amendment rights. The act of monitoring doesn't, but the knowledge that you're being monitored, coupled with the NDAA's Section 1031 regarding the indefinite detention of ANYBODY suspected of ANYTHING indirectly curtails your freedom of speech because you're afraid the government is going to disappear you one night if you say "the wrong thing".

It's up to you as to how that will play out. Either you pussy-out and let them take you without a fight, or you defend yourself. It's your call. If they ever come to my house with that intent, they'd better bring backup.

02/14/2012:  Android Phone Teeter

Today, I surpassed my best Teeter score of 5:03 by 18 seconds, for a time of 4:45. I now officially cannot complete a righteous dump before finishing a game of Teeter on my phone.

02/13/2012:  Look out! She's got a nug!

Well, my sister has come to the realization that the country is going to hell in a handbasket, although she still refuses to admit that the guy at the helm (that she voted for) is utimately responsible (not that a republican would have done any better at this point). But I digress.

She's decided that she needs guns. LOTS of guns. She's already made one mistake - buying a 12-guage shotgun. She shot it, and doesn't like it. I told here to get something smaller, like a Remington 870. She agreed, and I suppose she's taking steps to remedy that phase of her gun-buying spree. She also wants to buy a 9mm, and I can understand that. A .45ACP (my preferred pistol cartridge), while manageable in a full-sized 1911 (my preferred pistol) may be too much for her to handle. Of course, she's thinking Glock, but I told her not to make a decision until she's handle pistols from other manufacturers.

I took her to the local shooting range yesterdaym, and she's also decided that she wants an AR-15. There's only one small problem - she's left-handed. I'm not a big fan of left-handed guns because they a) cost more, and b) have special (read non-standard) parts. This may also be a problem for her regarding semi-auto pistols since the mag release is always on the left side of the pistol.

In any case, I'm happy that she recognizes there may be problems down the road, and being armed is one of the easy (if not the most expensive) ways to prepare for that eventaulity. She's also making a bug-out bag and putting it in the turnk of her car. She didn't get these ideas from me, so whoever her friends are, I owe them a big 'thank you'.

NOTE: The title of this opinion is from an episode of Fraiser where he tried to put on an old-time radio mystery show, and one of the women reading a part was dyslexic. That was some funny shit. :)

01/01/2012:  The Constitution Is Dead

So, the President signed the NDAA today (while he was on vacation in Hawaii, I might add). This means that any U.S. citizen, anywhere in the world (more importantly, anywhere in the United States) can be detained/arrested by the military for any reason - or NO reason - without charge, without legal representation, and without due process, and can be held INDEFINITELY. I would like to take this opportunity to remind all of our public servants that an armed citizen can always cast at least one more vote.

Archived Opinions

Weird Words

Isn't "hyphenated" a weird word? Sounds like a new characteristic of a soft drink. Or maybe something that happens to your colon after eating too much fibre. ("He died from a hyphenated colon.") Actually, since a hyphen is nothing more than a little stick laying on it's side, then someone with a hyphenated colon might actually have a stick shoved up their ass. Hmmm.....

Miscellaneous Musings

If anything under this topic deserves a more thorough discussion, it will graduate to its own section.

  • Sushi - If god had meant for man to eat raw fish, he wouldn't have let us invent fire.

  • Cats - They taste like chicken.

  • UFO's - They exist, and so does life on other planets. It is elitist, arrogant, and ludicrous to assume or believe otherwise.

  • Boxers vs. Briefs - I chose the latter.

  • The Budget "Crisis" - The Pres, Senators and Congressmen should take a pay cut before laying off the real workers. This is a sham, and we should revolt. After all, the way the feds are acting is revolting...

  • Nose Hair - It hurts when you pull one out.

  • Gun Control - Remember the Constitution!

  • Violence On TV - I saw it as a kid and I'm okay. Just a lame excuse for a lack of desire to exercise parental responsibility.

  • Visual Basic programs - Guffaw!

  • Capital Punishment - Off with their heads! Fry 'em! String 'em up! An eye for an eye!

  • Children - They should have their butts kicked if they misbehave, and should go to jail if they blatantly break the law. Hell, maybe we should treat their parents the same way.

  • Dogs - They're cool pets, but they're too big to flush down the toilet when they die.

  • Ginger or Mary Ann - Mary Ann

  • Feminine Itching - What the hell is that all about? If it itches, scratch it!